The loss of a dog, a life long family pet can be just as crippling as the loss of any loved one. The pain is really no different and the grieving process is very similar. There are 4 steps in the grieving process with the loss of a family dog – denial, anger, sadness, and then finally acceptance. The stages can vary in length and often times intermix.Denial is when you just don’t want to believe it has happened. It is a natural defense mechanism we use to try to protect ourselves from emotional pain. It hits a first time dog owner harder than someone who has own pets in the past. The length of this stage will vary depending on length of dog ownership and how one has dealt with previous loss.
Anger sets in after the denial stage – when reality really starts to set in. Anger can be directed at yourself or at other people such as if your dog was hit by a car – the driver of the car, at a vet for a misdiagnosis, or at a loved one who is not being supportive. Self-directed anger can be for not doing the “right thing” or for what one thinks they should have done or could have done to prevent their pets demise regardless of validity.
Sadness strikes at any stage, from the moment your dog takes ill to its demise, and throughout the grieving process. This stage can linger and/or come in bouts.
Acceptance is the final stage. The owner recognizes the loss and is able to look forward. Memories of the dog are easier and more celebrated rather than bringing on tears.
No two people work through the grieving process the same. It will vary by person and individual situations. None right or wrong. Recognizing the stages can help though in working through them quicker. If you have a friend or a loved one who has lost their family dog, please be patient with them and supportive- it can be just as devastating as losing a two legged family member.
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I still remember when our pet had to be put to sleep. He had a habit of chasing the car as it went in and out of the drive. It had been snowing and he slipped backwards in a snow rut and the car ran over his hind legs. The vet told us he should heal nicely until my Dad told him that the dog was 13 years old. We were all devastated. We had grown up with Laddie. My brothers used a pick and shovel to bury him beside our swingset so he would always be near. I'm 62 now, but I still have vivid memories of that day.
ReplyDeleteI remember listening to a late night host making fun of people who buried their pets in the local pet cemetery. I wondered at the time if he had ever had a dog that he connected with. Having a pet doesn't mean as much to some people as it does to others. Sometimes it's more of a status symbol than a real realationship. Sad, but true.
ReplyDeleteDogs have a way of working themselves right into your heart. They give so much and ask so little in return, how could they not. I just lost my Dusty to cancer. I'm so glad I have pictures of him from the time he was a pup. I have a few videos too, he was quite the ham.
ReplyDeleteI thought I would have many years with my dog but a broken leash and a speeding car ended his life before he was 2. It's been 3 years since that happened. I feel like I'm finally ready to start looking for another pet. I'll never forget Dutch, but I know I've finally put him to rest in my mind and heart.
ReplyDeleteI lost my pet and best friend, Dusty, recently. Sometimes, when I first wake up, I wonder why he hasn't barked to be let out. Then, I remember and I'm sad all over again. I know it's just going to take time to get over it. I can't even begin to think about replacing him yet. We were together 14 years.
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